Home
Q: How many Romanians
Q: How many Romanians does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: None. Ceaucescu restricted them to use only one 40 watt bulb per family to save electricity.
Twins
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?
Siamese twins
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Glaci
Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates…
Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells
them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.
St. Peter asks the first blonde, “What is Easter?” The blonde replies, “Oh,
that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats
turkey, and are thankful…”
“Wrong!,” replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same
question, “What is Easter?” The second blonde replies, “Easter is the holiday
in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the
birth of Jesus.”
St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her
she’s wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks,
“What is Easter?”
The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, “I know
what Easter is.” “Oh?” says St. Peter, incredulously. “Easter is the
Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of
Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus
was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples.
The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to
wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his
hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large
boulder.”
St. Peter smiles broadly with delight.
The third blonde continues, “Every year the boulder is moved aside so that
Jesus can come out… and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more
weeks of winter.”
Twice a week
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counselling.
They had been at each other’s throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw.
When they arrived at the counselor’s office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion.
“What seems to be the problem?”
The wife began talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within their marriage.
After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her shoulders, kissed her passionately for several minutes, and sat her back down.
Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless.
He looked over at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what had happened.
The counselor spoke to the husband, “Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!”
The husband scratched his head and replied…”I can have her here on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”
Submitted by Glaci
Edited by Curtis