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The world's smartest man?
A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions.Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. “There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of us,” he announced. “Since I’m the pilot, I get one!” After saying this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.”I’m the world’s greatest athlete,” proclaimed Michael Jordon. “This world needs great athletes, so I must live.” Michael Jordon then grabbed a parachute and leaped out of the plane.”I’m the smarest man in the world,” bragged Bill Gates. “The world needs smart men, so I must also live!” Bill Gates grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane.At this point, the Pope began to speak. “I have lived a long life compared to you, and you may take the last parachute. I will go down with the plane.””You don’t have to stay here! The world’s smartest man jumped out of the plane with my backpack.”
The Perfect Day According to HIM
10:00 Wake Up
10:02 Oral Sex
10:10 Big Breakfast
11:30 Drive up coast in Ferrari with gorgeous babe with big hooters
2:15 Enormous lunch
3:15 Oral Sex
3:25 Play sports with the guys
4:30 Drink beer with the guys
5:30 Meet Claudia Schiffer
5:40 Oral Sex
6:50 Huge dinner, more beer
11:00 Full on, get down, gorilla sex
11:10 Sleep
Q: How many Romanians
Q: How many Romanians does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: None. Ceaucescu restricted them to use only one 40 watt bulb per family to save electricity.
Twins
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?
Siamese twins
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Glaci