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Living on Earth…….
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
Deathbed
A man lies on his deathbed surrounded by his family, a weeping wife and four children.
Three of the children are tall, good-looking and athletic, but the fourth and the youngest is an ugly runt.
“Darling wife,” The husband whispers, “assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if…”
The wife gently interrupts him. “Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother’s grave that you are his father.”
The man dies happy.
The wife mutters under her breath, “Thank God he didn’t ask me about the other three!”
Indecent Proposal
A boss said to his secretary I want to have sex with you I will make it very fast. I’ll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I’ll be done.
She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but “Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn’t even have enough time to undressed himself.”
So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, what happened? She responds, “The bastard used coins I’m still picking and he is still going at it”.
Always remember that……
Always remember that you are absolutely unique… Just like everyone else…
A conclusion is………
A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.
Reelection Campaign
Recently I heard the former mayor of Reading, Pennsylvania, recount some funny stories about his time in office. One happened while he was running for reelection; he was in a bar and paid for a woman’s drink. She thanked him but wondered why a stranger had bought her a beer.
“I’m running for mayor,” he told her, “and I want your vote.”
“You got it,” she said, grabbing her glass. “Anyone’s better than the imbecile who’s in there now.”