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Dentro de un ascensor se
Dentro de un ascensor se estaba jugando un partido de futbol.
Desde afuera se escuchaba: “�Haga el pase, t�quela, cr�cela, cabecee, am�guele, lev�ntela!”
De un momento a otro se escuch�: “�GOOOOOOOOOOL, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!”
Todos los jugadores del equipo voltean a mirar al arquero de una forma inquisitiva. Este, vi�ndolos con cara de preocupaci�n, les dice:
“�PERO QUE, NO VEN QUE ME DEJARON SOLO?”
Stranded on an island
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island. They reallize their only chance of survival is to swim 500 meters to shore so the redhead tries first but only gets 200 meters and drowns. Then the brunette tries and gets 300 meters and drowns. Finally the blonde gives it a go she gets 250 meters out and says, ” O crap its too far!” then she swims back to the island.
You have an Internet addiction when . . .
Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you’ve never had heart problems before. You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don’t have a clue when it happened. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like. All of your friends have an @ in their names. When looking at a pageful of someone else’s links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple. Your dog has its own home page.Your dog’s homepage is actually good.You can’t call your mother…she doesn’t have a modem.
Life of Riley
“My god! What happened to you?” the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.
“I got in a tiff with Riley.”
“Riley? He’s just a wee fellow,” the barkeep said, surprised. “He must have had something in his hand.”
“That he did,” Kelly said. “A shovel it was.”
“Dear Lord. Didn’t you have anything in your hand?”
“Aye, that I did — Mrs. Riley’s tit.” Kelly said. “And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight.”