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”If you can….
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
Special Pill
“Doc, you’ve gotta help me! My wife just isn’t interested in sex anymore. Haven’t you got a pill or something I can give her? I am desperate!”
The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. “Ordinarily, I wouldn’t do this. These are experimental. The tests so far indicate that they’re VERY powerful. Don’t give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE.”
“I don’t know, Doc, she’s awfully cold…”
“One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?”
“Um… okay.” The guy expresses gratitude and leaves for home, where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. The man hastily pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife’s coffee. He reflects for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful. Then inspiration strikes, he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns with the shortcake and they enjoy their dessert and coffee.
A few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look comes over her. In a near whisper, and a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, “I…need… a man…”
His eyes glitter and his hands tremble as he replies, “Me… too…”
Sometimes the only…..
Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I’m tired of making other people feel good about themselves!
Health condition
The Queen of England was visiting one of Canada’s top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
“Oh my God,” said the Queen, “that’s disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?”
The Doctor leading the tour explains; “I am sorry your highness, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with
semen. If he doesn’t do that 5 times a day, they’ll explode, and he would die instantly.”
“Oh, I am sorry,” said the Queen.
On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient oral sex.
“Oh my God,” said the Queen, “what’s happening in there?”
The Doctor replied, “Same problem, better health plan.”
Never tell your………
Never tell your problems to anyone…20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them…
Husband’s Face
A woman went to her psychologist because she was having severe problems with her sex life.
The psychologist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, “Do you ever watch your husband’s face while you are having sex?”
“Well, yes, I did last time,” she replied.
“How did he look?” the psychologist asked.
“Very angry,” she said.
“We must look into this further.” said the psychologist. “You say that you have only seen your husband’s face once during sex. That seems somewhat unusual. How did it happen that you saw his face that time?”
“He was looking through the window at us,” she answered.