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Giving Thanks
A 4-year-old boy was asked to return thanks before a big dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation.
He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip.
Then he paused, and everyone waited–and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, “If I thank God for the broccoli, won’t he know that I’m lying?”
Help…
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy! There’s too much of it.
Visit to DMV
I waited for a very long time for my number to be called at the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my driver’s license. As I approached the window, the clerk asked how she could help me.
I replied, “I need to get a haircut, can you save me my spot?”
She said, “Why didn’t you get a haircut before your came here?”
I replied, “I didn’t need one before I got here!”
I’m at…
I’m at the age where I have to make a noise when I bend over. It’s the law.
Rich Man in Heaven
A wealthy man died and went to heaven. He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who led him down the streets of gold.
They passed mansion after mansion until they came to the very end of the street. Saint Peter stopped the rich man in front of a little shack.
“This belongs to you,” said Saint Peter.
“Why do I get this ugly thing when there are so many mansions I could live in?” the man demanded.
“We did the best we could with the money you sent us!” Saint Peter replied