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Laugh, and the world laughs with you….

Laugh, and the world laughs with you.

Snore, and you sleep alone.

Top Ten Signs the President is Angry

10.Latest radio address to the nation ended with the phrase “You can all bite me”

9.Giving people on the White House tour the finger

8.Punched the side of Al Gore’s head so hard he broke his hand

7.Threw half-eaten Big Mac from South Portico, beaning a Marine Band clarinetist

6.At recent Rose Garden ceremony, has Secret Service rough up some Spelling Bee champions

5.Blurted out to Roger, “Isn’t it time you got, like, a job?”

4.When pizza was late, beat delivery boy senseless with a Yoo-Hoo bottle

3.Feverishly adds names to long list of guys he’s going to slug the minute he becomes a private citizen

2.Actually talked back to Hillary

1.Every five minutes, he’s threatening to bomb Mexico

Reality? That's where the

Reality? That’s where the pizza delivery guy comes from!

How many Victorians does it take to screw…

How many Victorians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We do not discuss this with ladies and children present.

Questions to ponder

* If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

* Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

* If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

* If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

* Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? OOpps…

* Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

* If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

* Why is it called building when it is already built?

* If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?

* If you’re not supposed to drink and drive, then why do bars have parking lots?

* If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

* If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

* If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this???

Submitted by sai1ram
Edited by Calamjo

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