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When you know you must really be drunk

A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch.A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, the man told the bartender he�d had enough.The bartender said, “I�ve got to ask you. What�s with the pocket business?””Oh,” said the man, “I have my lawyer�s picture in here, and when he starts to look honest, I know I�ve had enough.”

the difference between fred flinston and binladen

how is binladen like fred flinston? when he looks through the
window he sees rubble!

Careerist

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“A doctor?”
“And why’s that?”
“Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their
clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”

Question and answer blonde joke

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head?A: A Space Invader.

George W Bush meets Moses!

George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair.

The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm. George W. approached the man and inquired, “Aren’t you Moses?” The man ignored George W. and stared at the ceiling.

George W. positioned himself more directly in the man’s view and asked again, “Aren’t you Moses?” The man continued to peruse the ceiling. George W. tugged at the man’s sleeve and asked once again, “Aren’t you Moses?”

The man finally responded in an irritated voice, “YES, I AM!”

George W. asked him why he was so uppity and had taken so long to answer him.

The man replied, “The last time I spoke to a Bush I ended up stuck in a desert for forty years!

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