Caught by a local tribe
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The
chief comes to them and says, “The bad news is that now we’ve caught you and
we’re going to kill you. We will put you in a pot, cook you, eat you and then
we’re going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can
choose how to die.”
The Frenchman says, “I take ze sword.” The chief gives him a sword, the
Frenchman says, “Vive la France!” and runs himself through.
The Englishman says, “a pistol for me please.” The chief gives him a pistol,
the Englishman points it at his head and says, “God save the queen!” and blows
his brains out.
The New Yorker says, “Gimme a fork!” The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and
gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all
over–the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There is blood gushing out
all over, it’s horrible. The chief is appalled and asks, “My God, what are you
And the New Yorker responds, “So much for your canoe you stupid cannibal!
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