"Instead of 'have a nice day,' I think I'll start saying, 'have the day you deserve.' You know, let karma sort things out."
Author: juhy
John visited his 90-year-old grandpa who lived way out in the country. On the first morning of the visit, John's grandpa prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs. John noticed.
“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”
“Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.”
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the.
Some people dress to impress, some people undress to impress.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?" God: "To me, it's about a minute." The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?" God: "To me it's a penny." The man: "God, may I have a penny?" God: "Wait a minute."
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”
"I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.”