Student

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of
Chemical Engineering, Final Exam for May of 1997 consisted
of only one question. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking
questions such as, ”Why do airplanes fly?” on his final
exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for
his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was:
”Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer
with proof.”

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using
Boyle’s Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote
the following:
“First, we postulate that if souls exist, then they must
have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also
have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell
and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering
hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in
the world today. Some of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their religion, then you will go to
hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at
the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle’s law states
that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to
stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume
needs to stay constant. Two options exist:
1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at
which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure
in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose. 2. If
hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the
quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman
year, ”that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep
with you” and take into account the fact that I still have
NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then
Option 2 cannot be true. Thus, hell is exothermic.”
The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.