High Tech Terms

Dilberted
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the
experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character.
“I’ve been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for
the fourth time this week.”

Link Rot
The process by which links on a web page became obsolete as the
sites they’re connected to change location or die.

Chip Jewelry
Euphemism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned
into decorative ornaments. “I paid three grand for that Mac SE,
and now it’s nothing but chip jewelry.”

Crapplet
A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. “I just
wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin’ crapplet!”

Plug-and-Play
A new hire who doesn’t need any training. “The new guy, John, is
great. He’s totally plug-and-play.”

World Wide Wait
The real meaning of WWW.

CGI Joe
A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and
charisma of a plastic action figure.

Dorito Syndrome
Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive
substances that lack nutritional content. “I just spent six
hours surfing the Web, and now I’ve got a bad case of Dorito
Syndrome.”

Under Mouse Arrest
Getting busted for violating an online service’s rule of
conduct. “Sorry I couldn’t get back to you. AOL put me under
mouse arrest.”

Glazing
Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular
pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. “Didn’t he
notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?”

404
Someone who’s clueless. From the World Wide Web message “404,
URL Not Found,” meaning that the document you’ve tried to access
can’t be located. “Don’t bother asking him…he’s 404, man.”

Dead Tree Edition
The paper version of a publication available in both paper and
electronic forms, as in: “The dead tree edition of the San
Francisco Chronicle…”

Egosurfing
Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers
looking for the mention of your name.

Graybar Land
The place you go while you’re staring at a computer that’s
processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar
creep across the screen). “I was in graybar land for what seemed
like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering.”

Open-Collar Workers
People who work at home or telecommute.

Squirt The Bird
To transmit a signal up to a satellite. “Crew and talent are
ready…what time do we squirt the bird?”

Brain Fart
A biproduct of a bloated mind producing information
effortlessly. A burst of useful information. “I know you’re busy
on the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the
Mitnik bust?” Variation of old hackerslang that had more
negative connotations.

Keyboard Plaque
The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer
keyboards. “Are there any other terminals I can use? This one
has a bad case of keyboard plaque.”

Career-Limiting Move (CLM)
Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity.
Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a
serious CLM.

Alpha Geek
The most knowledgeable, technically-proficient person in an
office or work group. “Ask Larry, he’s the alpha geek around
here.”

Adminisphere
The rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rank
and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.

Tourists
People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation
from their jobs. “We had about three serious students in the
class; the rest were tourists.”

Blowing Your Buffer
Losing one’s train of thought. Occurs when the person you are
speaking with won’t let you get a word in edgewise or has just
said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed.
“Damn, I just blew my buffer!”

Gray Matter
Older, experienced business people hired by young
entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and
established.

Bookmark
To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor
borrowed from web browsers). “I bookmarked him after seeing his
cool demo at Siggraph.”

Nyetscape
Nickname for AOL’s less-than-full-featured Web browser.

Beepilepsy
The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go
off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical
spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in
mid-sentence.