What is In Your Hand?

“My god! What happened to you?” the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on
a crutch, one arm in a cast.

“I got in a tiff with Riley.”

“Riley? He’s just a wee fellow,” the barkeep said, surprised. “He must have
had something in his hand.”

“Aye, that he did,” Kelly said. “A shovel it was.”

“Dear Lord, didn’t you have anything in YOUR hand?”

“Aye, that I did — Mrs. Riley’s tit.” Kelly said. “And a beautiful thing it
was, but not much use in a fight!”