What Do I Look Like?
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes
home from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one
of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?”
The husband just looked at his wife and said, “What do I look like, Mr.
A few days went by, and he comes home from work and again his wife asks for a
favor, “Honey, the car won’t start, I think that it needs a new battery. Could
you change it for me?”
“What do I look like, Mr.Goodwrench?” was his response. Another couple of
weeks go by, and it’s raining pretty hard. His wife then finds a leak in the
roof. She pleads with him as he’s walking through the door. “Honey, there’s a
leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?”
He just looked at her and said “What do I look like, Bob Vila?” and sat down
with a beer and watched a game on TV.
One weekend the husband woke up and it was pouring pretty hard, but the leak
on the roof was gone! Speaking of leaks, he also went to take a shower, and he
found that the one pipe behind the sink wasn’t leaking anymore either.
His wife was coming home just then, and as she walked through the door, the
husband asked, “Honey, how come there aren’t any more leaks, and the car’s
She replied nonchalantly, “Oh, the other day I was picking up the mail, and I
ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed
everything.” “Wow, did he charge us anything?” asked the husband. “No, he just
said that he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him”
“Cool. What kind of cake did you make?” asked the husband. “Cake? What the
hell do you think I look like, Betty Crocker?