Things to Do at a Boring Movie

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1. Wear a top hat.

2. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”

3. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.

4. Clap when the good guy gets killed.

5. Make a noise like your passing gas and go, “Ahhh…”

6. Start wheezing and ask the person next to you if you can have some
Juiji Fruits for you asthma.

7. During the previews, yell, “Can you fast-forward it?”

8. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”

9. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

10. Tell the man selling popcorn that the girls’ bathroom is flooding.

11. Yell out what is going to happen.

12. Tell the man next to you that you have diarrhea and wink while smiling.

13. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, “I’m Batman!
Hahaha!” and run away.

14. Yell, “Fire!” and moon the people coming through the exit.

15. Say that they cannot sit next to you because your invisible friend
already is.

16. Yell out loud, “Stop molesting me!”

17. Gently, very softly, place a single pooped kernel of corn on the head
of the person in front of you.

18. Scream out, “Hey, this isn’t Bambi!”

19. Stare at the person sitting across the aisle from you, then quickley
look back at the screen when they notice, then stare at them again when
they turn back to the screen.

20. See if you can get a moistened Jujy Fruit to stick to the screen.

21. Yell to the projectionist, “Can you pause it? I gotta pee!”

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