The Top 15 Things Overheard at Office Holiday Parties
By 15> “All right, who’s the smartass who replaced the French onion dip with Wite-Out?”
14> “So I said to myself, ‘Jell-O mold — moldy Jell-O… who’s gonna know the difference?'”
13> “A Chia Pet instead of a cash bonus! How creative of you, sir.”
12> “Hey, did you remember to let the boss out of that rat hole outside of Tikrit?”
“Me? I thought *you* were supposed to!”
11> “Hey, baby, wanna be today’s guest of honor in my blog?”
10> “I know it’s a photocopy of Jenkins’s buttocks, but you’ve got to admit, it does look like Santa.”
9> “*There’s* a holiday scene for you: Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Reindeer sitting at the table with VP Little Dumber Boy.”
8> “I forgot the party was tonight, until I realized that the entire IT department smells like Old Spice.”
7> “So he crosses out the ‘A451,’ writes ‘A578’ at the top, and tries to resubmit it! Can you believe that guy? An A451! Hahahahaha!”
6> “Sorry Boss, you know the rule: no bonus, no oral favors.”
5> “Take your clothes off, men — time to go skinny-dipping in the secretarial pool!”
4> “I remember the old days when we’d just photocopy our asses. Now, we have to out-source it to a graphics company so they can touch it up before IT posts it to the corporate Web site.”
3> “Don’t crash the Halliburton party next door — they’re asking 24 bucks for a Bud Light.”
2> “He’s your Secret Santa? Be careful. It took six prescriptions to get rid what he gave me last year.”
1> “You’re the boss’ wife? What a coincidence — I’m his bitch.”
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
