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If you press…

If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really…

If you believe…

If you believe that the quickest way to a man’s heart is the stomach, you know that you are aiming a little too high.

Greatest Golf Ball

Two friends were about to start playing golf when one said, “I have the greatest golf ball in the world. You can’t lose it.”
The other golfer replied, “How so?”
His friend went on, “If you hit it into the sand, it beeps. You hit it into the water, it floats. If you want to play golf at night it glows.”
“Hey, sounds good. Where did you get it?”
“I found it in the woods.”

Evangelizing Barber

There was a barber who paid close attention at the service whenever the topic of evangelization was discussed. He thought he should be doing more to share his faith with his customers.
One morning, during his prayer, the barber said, “Lord, today I’m going to witness to the first customer who walks through my door.”
A man came in as the barber opened his shop and said, “I need a shave.”
The barber said, “Yes, sir! Just have a seat, and I’ll be right with you.” Then he went in the back and prayed a quick prayer, saying, “Lord, the first customer just came in, and I’m going to witness to him. Give me the wisdom to know just the right thing to say. Amen.”
Then the barber came out with his straight razor in one hand and a Bible in the other and told his customer, “I have a question for you: Are you ready to meet your Maker?”

People don’t…

People don’t get my puns. They think they’re funny.

I named…

I named my dog 6 miles so I can tell people that I walk 6 miles every single day.

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