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College Recruit
A college coach had recruited a top talent, but the player couldn’t pass the school’s entrance exam. Needing the recruit badly, the coach went to the dean and asked if the recruit could take the test orally. The dean agreed, and the following day the recruit and the coach were seated in his office.
“Okay,” the dean said. “What is seven times seven?”
The recruit mulled it over for a moment, then said, “I think it’s 49.”
Suddenly the coach leaped to his feet. “Please, Dean,” he begged, “give him another chance!”
I bet you …
I bet you $4,567.89 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.
This year…
This year, my resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my tv.
Art History
A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study the country’s greatest works of art. Since there was no one to look after her grandmother while she was away, she took the old lady with her.
At the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican, she pointed to the painting on the ceiling. “Grandma, it took Michelangelo a full four years to get that ceiling painted.”
“Oh my, “the grandmother says. “He and I must have the same landlord.”
How do you…
How do you know if someone is hitchhiking or just complimenting your driving?
The Service Dog
A blind man was out walking with his service dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man’s leg.
Bending down, the blind man stretched out his hand and patted the dog’s head. Having watched what happened, a bystander said, “Why are you patting him? That dog just peed on your leg!”
“I know,” said the blind man, “but I gotta find his head before I can kick his behind.”