Recent Posts From All Categories
An old man went to the doctor. He said, “Doctor, I was wondering if you could help me. My wife and I are not getting the same amount of pleasure from sex that we used to.”
The doctor looked at the wrinkled old man in surprise, and said, “Can I ask you how old you are, sir?”
“I’m 87.”, said the old man.
“87!”, exclaimed the doctor, “How old is your wife?”
“She’s 92.”, was the reply.
The doctor was astonished by this, and said, “So let me make sure that I understand this right. You are 87, and your wife is 92 and you are worried that you don’t get as much pleasure from sex as you used to?”
“That is correct.” said the old man, “What can you do to help me?”
“Well,” said the doctor, “when did you first notice this problem?”.
The old man looked thoughtful, “I noticed it first last night, but then twice this morning.”
Smith and Jones were playing racquetball in the local gym.
After the game, they went into the locker room to change, and Smith is shocked and amazed to see Jones wearing a lace bra and garter belt.
Smith: “My God, Jones, when did you start wearing women’s underwear?”
Jones: “Ever since my wife found them in the glove compartment of my car!”
An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.
After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, “Are you a real cowboy?”
“Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences… I guess I am,” replied the cowboy.
After a short while he asked her what she was.
“I’ve never been on a ranch so I’m not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women,” told the young woman.
A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink.
A couple sat down next to him and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
“Well, I always thought I was, but I just found out that I’m a lesbian!”
One morning, a husband returns the family boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent.
Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, “Good morning, Ma’am. What are you doing?”
“Reading a book,” she replies, (thinking, “Isn’t that obvious?”).
“You’re in a Restricted Fishing Area,” he informs her.
“I’m sorry, officer, but I’m not fishing. I’m reading.”
“Yes, but I see you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”
“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” says the woman.
“But I haven’t even touched you,” says the Game Warden.
“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”
“Have a nice day ma’am,” and he left.
At dinner, a father is asking his kids about the school. He turns to the oldest daughter “How is your history paper coming along, dear?”
“Well, it was hard at first. My history professor suggested that I use the internet for research and it’s been very helpful.”
Surprised at the professor’s suggestion, the father asked “Oh really, how so?”
“Yes, so far I’ve located 7 people who will write it and sell it to me for a good price.”