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Even people who……
Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs…
Snacking Habits
The husband had an annoying habit of searching through the refrigerator for a snack, usually while his wife was preparing a meal.
Once, after he had gone through this routine for the third time in as many minutes, she snapped, “Nothing’s any different than it was a minute ago.”
“I know that,” he assured her. “It’s just that this time I’ve lowered my standards.”
The best things…..
The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*
Detective Work
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. Holmes said: “Watson, look up and tell me what you see”.
Watson said: “I see a fantastic panorama of countless stars.”
Holmes: “And what does that tell you?”
Watson pondered for a moment: “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.”
“Why? – What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes was silent for a moment then spoke: “My good Watson… someone has stolen our tent.”
Living on Earth…….
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.
Deathbed
A man lies on his deathbed surrounded by his family, a weeping wife and four children.
Three of the children are tall, good-looking and athletic, but the fourth and the youngest is an ugly runt.
“Darling wife,” The husband whispers, “assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if…”
The wife gently interrupts him. “Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother’s grave that you are his father.”
The man dies happy.
The wife mutters under her breath, “Thank God he didn’t ask me about the other three!”