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Sarcasm helps me …..
“Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars and makes people smile.”
Cab Driver
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window.
For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, “Look, mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!”
The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”
The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver — I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.”
Some People…
Some people dress to impress, some people undress to impress.
A Man is Talking to God
The man: “God, how long is a million years?”
God: “To me, it’s about a minute.”
The man: “God, how much is a million dollars?”
God: “To me it’s a penny.”
The man: “God, may I have a penny?”
God: “Wait a minute.”
Light travels faster……
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”
Arithmetic
TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many
dollars would you have?
VINCENT: One dollar.
TEACHER(sadly): You don’t know your arithmetic.
VINCENT(sadly): You don’t know my father.