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Visit to a Zoo

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

“So how was it?” his mother asked when they returned home.

“Great,” Little Johnny replied.

“Did you and your father have a good time?” asked his mother.

“Yeah, Daddy especially liked it,” exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!”

Camping Mystery

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said, “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”

Holmes said, “And what do you deduce from that?”

Watson replied, “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”

And Holmes said, “Watson, you are an idiot, it means that somebody have stolen our tent.”

I asked my…

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.

Blind Associate

A woman goes into a fishing store to buy a rod and reel. She doesn’t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is an associate standing there with dark shades on.

She says, “Excuse me sir, can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”

He says, “Ma’am I’m blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes.”

She didn’t believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway.

He said, “That’s a 6′ graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line. It’s a good all around rod and reel and it’s $20.00”.

She says, “That’s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it’s what I’m looking for so I’ll take it.”

He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her being blind he wouldn’t know that she was the only person around.

He rings up the sale and says, “That will be $25.50.”

She says, “But didn’t you say it was $20.00?”

He says, “Yes ma’am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the stink bait is$2.50.”

When I was a…

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive… It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it.

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