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Top 11 Excuses

11. Excuse me “Your Honor”, but she was on top
10. I didn’t want people to confuse me with the Pope on TV
9. She’s not THAT young. In Arkansas, the age of consent is only 16
8. Hey, At least she’s prettier than Paula Jones or Gennifer Flowers
7. I had to show the American People that I WASN’T impotent for my second term
in office
6. I was jealous of Nixon with his ‘Tricky Dick” nickname
5. I didn’t leave a message on her voicemail. Get with it. This is the 90’s, I
sent her E-MAIL!
4. See I’m not a Lame duck. She said I was pretty GOOD!
3. My real name is not William Jefferson Clinton. It’s William KENNEDY
2. I couldn’t control myself. It was genetic. I was in her jeans — oops, I
mean it was in my genes.
AND for those of you who remember the famous “I DIDN’T INHALE” comes the now
soon to be famous #1 excuse…
1. “I didn’t insert!”

Blowing Smoke Rings

Three little boys were sitting on the porch, when one little boy says, “My Daddy smokes, and he can blow smoke rings.”

The second little boy pipes up, “Well, my Dad smokes, too, and can blow smoke out of his ears.”

The third little boy, not to be outdone responds, “My Dad can blow smoke out of his butt.”

“Really, have you seen it?” ask the boys.

The third boy responds, “No, but I’ve seen the tobacco stains on his underwear.”

Perverted sex

What do you call a man who has sex with his mom?A MOTHER FUCKER!

When you know you must really be drunk

A man sat down at a bar, looked into his shirt pocket and ordered a double scotch.A few minutes later, the man again peeked into his pocket and ordered another double. This routine was followed for some time, until after looking into his pocket, the man told the bartender he�d had enough.The bartender said, “I�ve got to ask you. What�s with the pocket business?””Oh,” said the man, “I have my lawyer�s picture in here, and when he starts to look honest, I know I�ve had enough.”

the difference between fred flinston and binladen

how is binladen like fred flinston? when he looks through the
window he sees rubble!

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