Healing Powers

An Australian, an Irishman and a Newfie are in a bar. They’re staring at another man sitting quietly at the bar.

Suddenly the Irishman says, “It’s Jesus!”

Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint. Thrilled, they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a bottle of Molson Canadian. Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles at the three men and drinks the pints slowly, one after another.

When he’s finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of a amazement: “My God! The arthritis
I’ve had for 30 years is gone. It’s a miracle!”

Jesus then shakes the Aussie’s hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go the man’s eyes widen with shock. “Strewth, mate, the bad back I’ve had all my life is completely gone! It’s a miracle!”

Jesus then approaches the Newfie who knocks over a chair and a table trying to get away from him.

“What’s wrong, my son?” says Jesus.

The Newfie shouts, “Don’t touch me, I’m on Workers Compensation!”

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