Flirting Husband

A husband and wife are bickering after dining out on a Friday date night. The wife was upset because her husband was flirting with the young voluptuous waitress all evening without even trying to be descrete about it. Out of anger, he begins to speed up over the limit as they drive down the road. A police officer pulls them over and says, “I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.” The man says, “Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.”

While staring out the passenger window the wife says: “Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.”

As the officer writes out the ticket, the man looks over at his wife and growls, “Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?”

The wife smiles demurely and says, “You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.”

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, “Damit, woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?”

The officer frowns and says, “And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine.”

The man says, “Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.”

The wife says, “Now, dear, that’s a nice story but you never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.”

The police officer is writing out another ticket while the man turns to his wife and barks, “JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!!!”

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?”

“Only when he’s been drinking,” replies the woman triumphantly.

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