A man called home to his wife and said: “Darling, I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I’ve been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we’re leaving from the office today though. I will swing by the house to pick my things up. Could you pack me a bag, and please pack my new blue pajamas.”
The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish?
He said, “Yes! Lots of salmons, some bluegills, and a few swordfishes.” After a moment he added, “Why didn’t you pack my new blue pajamas like I asked you to do?”
The wife smirked and replied, “I did, dear. They were in your fishing box!”
Five surgeons are taking a coffee break and talking about work.
1st surgeon says: “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
2nd surgeon says: “Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.
3rd responds: “Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded.”
4th intercedes: “I like engineers. They always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end.”
To which the 5th surgeon, who has been quietly listening to the conversation, says: “I prefer lawyers. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and their butts are interchangeable.”
Amy, a city girl, marries a farmer.
One morning, before he goes out to the fields, the farmer says to her, “The artificial insemination man is coming to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a big nail into the two-by-four over the cow’s stall. You show him where it is.”
The farmer leaves, and a while later, the artificial insemination man arrives. Amy takes him down the rows of cows until she sees the nail.
She says, “This is the one, right here.”
The man says, “How do you know?”
Amy says, “By the nail over its stall.”
The man says, “What’s the nail for?”
Amy says, “I guess it’s to hang your pants on.”