Quantization Revision of Murphy's Laws…

Quantization Revision of Murphy’s Laws

Everything
goes wrong all at once.

Work at the Pentagon

A man on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic
and thought to himself, “Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing’s
even moving.”

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars
so he rolls down his window and asks, “Excuse me Officer, what’s the hold up?”

The Officer replies, “The President just found out he was impeached and he’s
all depressed. He stopped his motorcade in the middle of the Beltway and he’s
threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says his
family hates him and he doesn’t have the $33.5 million he owes his lawyers.
I’m walking around taking up a collection for him.”

“Oh really? How much have you collected so far?”

“I’ve got a lot of folks still siphoning; but right now I have about three
hundred gallons.”

Blonde and her job interview…

A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office.
The interviewer starts with the basics.
“So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?”

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying “Ehhhh… 22!”

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.
“And can you tell us your height, please?”

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces “Five foot two!”

This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won’t have to count, measure, or lookup.
“Just to confirm for our records, your name please?”

The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “MANDY!”

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks –
“What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?”

“Ohhhh, that!” replies the airhead…
” I was just running through that song –
‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear…’ “