Your mama is so fat,you half to wax the door…

Your mama is so fat,you half to wax the door and hold a twinkie on the other side,just to get her through

Nuns Confessional

Four nuns are standing in line for confession. The first nun goes into the confessional and says bless me father for I have sinned I touched a man�s private parts.

The priest asks, “What part of your body did you use?”

The nun replies, “My right hand.”

The priest tells her to dip her right hand in holy water say 10 hail Mary�s and all will be forgiven.

The second nun goes into the confessional and says, “Bless me father for I have sinned I touched a mans private parts.”

The priest asks, “What part of your body did you use?”

The nun replies, “My left hand.” The priest tells her to dip her left hand in the holy water say 10 hail Mary�s and all will be forgiven.

Well, this leaves the third and fourth nun standing in line. The fourth nun taps the third nun on the shoulder and asks, “Would you mind if I went first?”

The third nun says, “Sure I don’t care, but would mind telling me why?”

The fourth nun replies, “Well, I would like to drink the water before you have to sit in it!”

Just you and me

A farmer hires a college student one summer to help around the farm.

At the end of the summer the farmer says, “Son, since you have done such a fine job here this summer, I am going to throw a party for you.”

The college guy says, “Right on, thanks a lot man.”

So the farmer says, “Well you better be able to handle a few beers because there will be lotsa drinkn’ going on.”

College guy “Hey, I can drink just as much as anyone else so I should do just fine.”

Farmer “There is also going to be a lot of fightn’ so I hope you are ready.”

College guy “I have been working hard all summer and I think I am in pretty good shape.”

Farmer says, “Well, did I mention that there will be lotsa sex?”

College guy “Good. I have been out here all summer and I have been dying for some action. What should I wear to this party?”

Farmer says, “I don’t care it’s just going to be me and you.”

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