Billy-Bob and Bubba were sitting in the back of a trailer, drinking a beer and talking about life.
Billy-Bob said, “If I snuck over to your house while you were out fishing and had sex with your wife, and she got pregnant, would that make us kin?”
Bubba scratched his head for a bit and said, “I don’t think so…but it sure would make us even.”
New medical students were made to take an extremely difficult class in physics.
One day the lecturer was discussing a particularly difficult concept.
A student rudely interrupted to ask, “Why do we need to learn this stuff?”
“To save lives,” the lecturer responded quickly and continued.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?” he persisted.
“It keeps idiots like you from graduating,” replied the lecturer.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep.
Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said, “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”
Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
Holmes said, “And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson replied, “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life.”
And Holmes said, “Watson, you are an idiot, it means that somebody have stolen our tent.”
A young woman had been taking golf lessons.
She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, “Why are you back in so early? What’s wrong?”
“I was stung by a bee”, she said.
“Where?,” he asked.
“Between the first and second hole”, she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, “Then your feet are too far apart.”
One day a farmer had to fly on a plane to go to a funeral. When he was seated, he could see out the window a red fuel truck driving up to the plane. The plane was fueled and they were on their way.
The trip required several stops along the way. At each stop the farmer saw a red fuel truck coming to the plane to refuel it.
When the plane landed ahead of schedule, the farmer saw the pilot coming out of the cockpit.
The pilot smiled and said to the farmer, “We made pretty good time today!”
In response the farmer said, “Yeah, and that little red truck didn’t do too bad either!”