Interview

A young journalism student at the University of Tennessee was assigned to
write a human interest story. He went into the mountains to do some research.
There, he found an old farmer sitting on his porch, introduced himself, and
explained his mission.
The young man asked, “Has anything ever happened around here that made you
really happy?”

After a moment, the farmer said, “Yeah, one time my neighbor’s daughter, a
fine looking gal, got lost. We formed a posse and found her. After we all
screwed her, we took her back home.”

“I can’t print that!” the young man exclaimed. “Can’t you think of anything
else that happened that made you happy?”

The farmer thought for a minute and smiled, “Yep! One time a neighbor’s sheep
got lost. We formed a posse and found it. Then we all screwed it and took it
back home.”

Again, the young man said “I can’t print that, either. Let’s try another
approach. Has anything ever happened around here that made you really sad?”

The old farmer dropped his head as if he were ashamed, and after a few seconds
he looked up timidly at the young man and said, “This one time, I got lost…”

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Baby

Yesterday my daughter and I drove to the babysitters house to pick up my two-year old son. We were about to get in the car to go home when I noticed a baby birds in a nest in a nearby bush.

I gently picked up one of the birds to show my daughter and my son. “See? It’s a baby,” I said, trying to calm down my son, who was scared of the little bird.

“I don’t want a baby, I don’t want a baby,” he was saying.

“He sounds just like his father,” my daughter replied!

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The Importance of Proper Punctuation

The Importance of Proper Punctuation———————————————————-Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is all about. You aregenerous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like youadmit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me forother men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoeverwhen we’re apart. I can be forever happy–will you let mebe yours? Gloria———————————————————-Dear John: I want a man who knows what love is. All about you aregenerous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you.Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me.For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelingswhatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Willyou let me be? Yours, Gloria———————————————————-

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Nothing Grows In The Shade

Why does Pamela Anderson have such a flat tummy?

Nothing grows in the shade.

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