Visiting Mother-in-law

Bill’s mother was visiting her son and daughter-in-law, Betty. Bill came home from work and found six vacuum cleaner salesmen outside his house. He dashed in and said, “Mom, there are six men outside who all claim they have an appointment for a vacuum cleaner demonstration!”

“That’s right,” the mother-in-law replied. “Now you just show them all to different rooms and let them start demonstrating.”

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Help from Grandma

Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her,

‘Grandma, what’s that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?’

She was a little taken aback, but she decided that if he was old enough to ask, he is old enough to get a true answer. ‘It’s called sexual intercourse, darling.’ Little Tony said, ‘Oh, OK,’ and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, ‘Grandma, it isn’t called sexual intercourse. It’s called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy’s mum wants to talk to you.’

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Judge’s Question

A guy appeared in court for killing his wife after catching her in bed with another man. Passing sentence, the judge said:

“Can I ask, why did you kill your wife instead of just killing her lover?”

The defendant replied: “But your honor, is it not better that I just killed her rather than a different man each week?”

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Saying Grace

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, he started eating right away.

“Logan, wait until we say our prayer,” his mother reminded him.

“I don’t have to,” the little boy replied.

“Of course you do,” his mother insisted, “we say a prayer before eating at our house.”

“That’s at our house,” Logan explained, “but this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.”

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Gorilla Hunt

There were two guys that went to hunt for a gorilla for the zoo. Since they had to catch it alive, they went prepared. They had a pair of handcuffs, a high power rifle and a Chihuahua.

One of the guys asked the other what all the stuff was for.

His friend replied: First I am going to go up in the tree and shake him out, when he hits the ground, the dog will run up and bite him on the nuts and then we handcuff him.

Then the first guy asked what the high power rifle was for?

His friend responded: In case he shakes me out of the tree first, you shoot the dog.

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