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An Absentminded Husband
An absentminded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife’s birthday and their anniversary.
He opened an account with a florist and provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates, along with an appropriate note signed, “Your loving husband.”
His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention, and all went well until one day, when he came home, he kissed his wife and said offhandedly, “Nice flowers, honey. Where’d you get them?”
”People say that laughter……..
“People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.”
At the Pharmacy
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, ‘Son, how old are you?’
‘Eight’, the boy replied.
The man continued, ‘Do you know what these are used for?’
The boy replied, ‘Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four.”
“Oh, really?” the pharmacist replied with a grin.
“Yes.” the boy said. “We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do none of that.”
I didn’t realize…
I didn’t realize how bad of a driver I was until my navigation said, “In 400 feet, pull over and let me out.”
Two Old Guys
Two old guys at a senior center were sipping lemonade on the porch.
One says to the other, “I see that the older I get, the more pain I am in. It seems that these days even my aches have pains.”
The other one says, “I don’t think I experienced that. I feel much different, actually.”
The first guy, surprised with the other guy’s response says: “You must be close to my age. How are you feeling these days?”
The other one says, “Like a brand new baby.”
“No kidding! Like a brand new baby? How come?”
“Yep. Just like a baby – no teeth, no hair, and wet diapers.”
I always…
I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.