Home

A Dog Named Sex

A Dog Named Sex Everyone that has a dog names him “Rover: or “Champ” or something like that. Well, I named my dog sex. Now… Sex has been very imbarrassing for me. When I went to city hall to get him a licence… I told the clerk that I would like a licence for sex. He said “I would like one too!” Then I said “But this a dog.” He said ” I don’t care what she looks like.” I said “You don’t understand, I’ve had sex since I was 9 years old.” He said, I must of been quite a kid. When I got married and went on my honeymoon I took the dog along with us. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife, myself and specail one for sex. He said “That every room was for sex.” I said “You don’t understand sex keeps me up at night.” He said “Me too!” One day I enter Sex in a contest. But, before the compitition began, the dog ran off. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing and looking around. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should of sold tikets.”But you don’t understand” I said ” I had hoped to have Sex on TV.” He called me a show off!When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said “Your Honor, I have had Sex before we were married.” The judge said “Me too.” Then I told him after I was married Sex left me.” He said “Me too!” Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over and asked me “What are you doing in this alley at 4 a.m. in the morning?” I said ” I was looking for Sex.” The casse comes up on Frieday!!!

On stag night, you take

On stag night, you take a real deer.You use a 55 Chevy as a guest house.Your back porch is bigger than your house.

The Jewish civilization is 6000

The Jewish civilization is 6000 years old.
The Christian civilization is 2000 years old.

This implies that for 4000 years, the Jews had to persecute themselves.

Stand up nuts!

The recreational director of a mental hospital wanted to take a well
behaved group of inmates to a baseball game. The General Manager of
the club was a little leery of this. When the Recreational Director
said: “If I prove to you how well behaved they are, will you let
them in?” The General Director agreed.

The group of inmates came in and sat down. The Recreational Director
shouted: “Stand up, nuts!” Everyone stood up. “Sit down, nuts!”
Everyone sat down. “Look behind you, nuts!” Everyone turned around.

Pleased with that, the General Manager let them in. About the third
inning or so, he heard a tremendous commotion! People were running
helter skelter. He asked what happened and was told that someone had
called out: “Peanuts!”

At the Grandparent's

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.

“I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO…
I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR…”

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, “Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn’t deaf.” To which the little brother replied, “No, but Gramma is!”

This div height required for enabling the sticky sidebar