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Stonger than it Should Be

A lady goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing interest in sex. He gives her a pill but warns her that it’s still experimental. He tells her to slip it in his mashed potatoes at dinner. At dinner that night, she does just that.About a week later she’s back at the doctor and tells him, “The pill worked great! I put it in his mashed potatoes like you said. It wasn’t five minutes later that he jumped up, pushed all the food and dishes to the floor, grabbed me, ripped off all my clothes and ravaged me right there on the table.”The doctor says, “Oh dear — I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages.”The lady replied, “Nah, that’s okay. We’re not welcome back at Denny’s anyway.”

Oh My God!!

There is this man who is an Atheist. He is walking through a forest admiring it’s beauty. He notices the trees, flowers, and everything surrounding him. All of the sudden, a huge bear jumps out from behind one of the bushes. He begins to chase the man and gains ground quickly on him. He captures the man and pins him to the ground.
He is about to swipe his big paw on the man to kill him when the man screams out, “Oh my God!!!!!”
Time freezes and God appears out of nowhere.
He tells the man, “All your life, you have never believed in me and now at this time of need you call upon me.”
The man replies, “I will never become a Christian, but if you could do one thing for me, change the bear into a Christian.”
God, being the nice man he is, agrees and disappears again. The bear begins to slow his paw down and the man is relieved while at the same time the bear begins, “Dear Lord. Please bless this food I am about to receive….”

El �ltimo d�a de clases,

El �ltimo d�a de clases, los alumnos le llevaron regalos a la maestra: el hijo del florista le entreg� un ramo de flores y la hija del confitero, una bonita caja de bombones. En eso, el hijo del due�o de la licorer�a se acerc� cargando una caja grande y pesada. Al recibirla, la maestra se dio cuenta que algo escurr�a por la base. Con el dedo recogi� una gota del l�quido y la prob�.

“�Es vino?”, pregunta tratando de adivinar.

“No”, responde el chico.

La maestra prob� otra gota:

“�Champa�a?”

“No”.

“Me rindo, �qu� es?”

“�Un perrito!”

Incurable Disease

A guy goes to the doctor and the doctor tells him, “I have some very bad news for you. I’m afraid that you’re afflicted with a fatal and incurable disease.”

So the guy asks, “Well isn’t there ANYTHING I can do, doc?”

“Hmmm… maybe you should go to a spa and start taking daily mud baths.” The doctor tells the patient.

“Mud baths? Will that help me, doc?”

“Probably not… but at least you’ll get used to being covered in dirt!”

shop keeper wanted

Help Wanted Mark as unread

WANTED
A tall well-built woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classic music and tal-
king without getting too serious.

But please only read lines 1,3 and 5.

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