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Mom’s Lead Foot
My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were driving through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, mom tried to appear shocked when he walked up to the car.
“I have never been stopped like this before,” she said to the officer.
“What do they usually do, ma’am,” he asked, “shoot the tires out?”
Never break…
Never break someone’s heart because they have only one inside…break their bones because they have 206 of them.
“I ran a half…
“I ran a half marathon” sounds so much better than “I quit halfway through a marathon”.
Sunday School Money
A little boy came home eating a big candy bar.
Seeing the candy bar, his mother remembered he had already spent all his allowance money. She asked him where he got it.
“I bought it at the store with the dollar you gave me,” he said.
“But that dollar was for Sunday School,” his mother replied.
Smiling, the boy said, “I know, Mom, but the Pastor met me at the door and got me in for free!”
My internet…
My internet is so slow, it’s faster to just drive to the Google headquarters and ask them things in person.