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Two wrongs don’t…….
Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.
Correct Stance
A young woman had been taking golf lessons.
She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, “Why are you back in so early? What’s wrong?”
“I was stung by a bee”, she said.
“Where?,” he asked.
“Between the first and second hole”, she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, “Then your feet are too far apart.”
Marriage in Heaven
Betty and Tim die in a car accident on the eve of their wedding. In Heaven, they ask St. Peter if they can still be married.
“Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back.”
Six months pass and St. Peter returns. “Yes, we can do this for you.”
The couple asks, “Well, as we have spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need to know that if things don’t work out, is there a possibility that we can be divorced?”
To which St. Peter answers, “It took me six months to find a priest up here — how long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer?”
I think they ……
I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
Even people who…..
Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs…
Amish Ride
An Amish lady is trotting down the road in her horse and buggy when she is pulled over by a cop. “Ma’am, I’m not going to ticket you, but I do have to issue you a warning. You have a broken reflector on your buggy.”
“Oh,” says Sarah, “I’ll let my husband, Jacob, know as soon as I get home.”
“That’s fine,” replied the cop. “Another thing, ma’am. I don’t like the way that one rein loops across the horse’s back and around his privates. I consider that animal cruelty. Have your husband take care of that right away too!”
Later that day, the lady is home telling her husband about her encounter with the cop. “Well, dear, what exactly did he say?” Asked the husband.
“He said the reflector is broken.”
“I can fix that in two minutes. What else?”
“I’m not sure, Jacob, something about the emergency brake.”