Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?"...
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What do you get when you cross a computer with an ice road? A hard drive.
Knock knock, Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup before we leave you alone!!
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them. Submitted by Glaci Edited by Tantilazing
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
1992 Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure.
I have only one firm belief in the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat. God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle-aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great...
God: Men, what car you get in Heaven will depend on how faithful you were to your wives on Earth. Man 1: Please God, I can't count how many times.
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks? They're too hard to retrain. How do you know when a blonde has used your computer? There's white-out all over the screen. Why did.
A guy goes to pick up his date for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to relieve some pressure. Then, the family dog...